Jeremy Bojczuk
Pronunciation
In case you were wondering, it is pronounced ‘boy-chook’, rhyming with ‘look’, not ‘luck’.
Biography
At the last count, there were three Jeremy Bojczuks in the English-speaking world. This web page is about this one, not the other two.
This Jeremy Bojczuk was born more than a decade ago. When last heard of, he was still alive.
Educational History and Achievements
Jeremy Bojczuk was educated from an early age. He attended educational institutions, and has taught himself various things, including the skills necessary to build this web page.
Intellectual and Sporting Achievements
Jeremy Bojczuk has achieved things: intellectual, sporting and otherwise. Like most people’s achievements, they aren’t of much interest to anyone else, or even to him.
If he had to choose his greatest achievement, it would be acquiring the ability to read. For as long as he can remember, he has been amazed that an incomprehensibly complex, electrically charged, chemically dynamic lump of meat inside his skull is able to create meaning out of a series of two-dimensional squiggles, and that a similar lump of meat inside someone else’s skull is able to create pretty much the same meaning from the same set of squiggles. Like most people who have given any thought to the matter, he is curious to discover more about the connection between thought and matter.
Successes and Failures
Jeremy Bojczuk has succeeded in doing some things, but has so far failed to do others, such as translating the Encyclopedia Britannica into Mayan hieroglyphs, scoring a hat-trick in the FA Cup final, and winning an Olympic gold medal.
Travels
He has travelled widely, on foot, on a bicycle, on a motorcycle, in an airliner, in a light aircraft, in a helicopter, in a single-decker bus, in a double-decker bus, in a car, in a car inside a train, in a single-decker overground train, in a double-decker overground train, in a single-decker underground train, in a double-decker underground train, in a cable car, in a tram, on a ferry, in a rowing boat, in a hovercraft, and probably in or on several other mechanical devices that he can’t think of at the moment.
He has not yet travelled on a horse, on an ostrich, on a surfboard, on a skateboard, on skis, in a farm tractor, in a chariot, on a unicycle, or in an interstellar space craft.
Employment History
Jeremy Bojczuk has been employed. When last heard of, he was associated with Lab 99 Web Design.
Wise Sayings
Jeremy Bojczuk has uttered several wise sayings and pithy bons mots, such as: “If you can’t stand the heat, don’t put all your chickens in one kettle of fish.”
Interests and Hobbies
Jeremy Bojczuk has had interests and hobbies. Like most people’s interests and hobbies, they aren’t of much interest to anyone else, or even to him.
Personal Details
He is aware that once you place your personal details online, you lose control of them. Every piece of information you place online is stored on computers controlled by other people. These other people, mostly acting not as free individuals but instead as the servants of authoritarian social institutions, have the power to retain, delete, copy, alter, combine and share those pieces of information, and in almost every case there is nothing you can do about it. As the old saying goes: you can’t put the toothpaste back in the chicken.
Nevertheless, the following personal details have been made available, although readers are warned that at least one of them is untrue:
- In 2003, Jeremy Bojczuk was briefly Devon and Cornwall Disco-Dancing Champion, until he was obliged to resign because of a regalia-related technical infringement, an episode now known to disco-dancing enthusiasts as Medalliongate.
- He has visited the Grand Canyon, or at least has posed in front of a convincing backdrop.
- Years ago, he decided to acquire some skills in martial arts, but mistakenly enrolled in the wrong evening class. On the plus side, he does now have a black belt in origami.
- Jeremy Bojczuk lives on a farm in Nova Scotia with his boyfriend and Norman, their pet elephant.
- He has been anthologised, but is expected to make a full recovery.
- For the last few years before his retirement in 1997, Jeremy Bojczuk worked as a lighthouse keeper off the coast of Norway.
- In November 2013 he gave an interview on French television.
- In his spare time, Jeremy Bojczuk enjoys wrestling grizzly bears and playing the lute in an early-music consort.
- He also enjoys amateur dramatics, and recently starred as Colonel Arbuthnot in the Great Yarmouth Strolling Players’ production of Harold Pinter’s little-known but entertaining farce, Blimey, Vicar, Where Are Your Trousers?.
- He once spent four days in a coma.
- His first job after leaving school in 2005 was as a door-to-door harp salesman.
- Jeremy Bojczuk can occasionally be found on a Saturday evening in the Queen’s Head just off Gray’s Inn Road in London, or a few minutes’ walk away in The Plough on Little Russell Street, near the British Museum.