Jeremy Bojczuk

Pronunciation

In case you were wondering, it is pronounced ‘boy–chook’, rhyming with ‘look’, not ‘luck’.

Biography

At the last count, there were four Jeremy Bojczuks in the English–speaking world. This website is about this one, not the other three.

This Jeremy Bojczuk was born more than a decade ago. When last heard of, he was still alive.

Educational History and Achievements

Jeremy Bojczuk was educated from an early age. He attended educational institutions, and has taught himself various things, including the skills necessary to build this website.

Intellectual and Sporting Achievements

Jeremy Bojczuk has achieved things: intellectual, sporting and otherwise. Like most people’s achievements, they aren’t of much interest to anyone else.

If he had to choose his greatest achievement, it would be the ability to read. For as long as he can remember, he has been amazed that a lump of meat inside his skull is able to create meaning out of a series of two–dimensional squiggles, and that a lump of meat inside someone else’s skull is able to create pretty much the same meaning from the same set of squiggles. Like most people who have given any thought to the matter, he is curious to discover more about the connection between thought and matter.

Successes and Failures

Jeremy Bojczuk has succeeded in doing some things, but has so far failed to do others, such as translating the Encyclopedia Britannica into Sanskrit, scoring a hat–trick in the FA Cup final, or winning an Olympic gold medal.

Travels

He has travelled widely, on foot, on a bicycle, on a motorcycle, in an airliner, in a light aircraft, in a helicopter, in a single–decker bus, in a double–decker bus, in a car, in a train, in a car inside a train, in a single–decker underground train, in a double–decker underground train, in a tram, on a ferry, in a rowing boat, and in a hovercraft.

He has not yet travelled on a horse, on an ostrich, on a surfboard, on a skateboard, on a unicycle, or in a chariot.

Employment History

Jeremy Bojczuk has been employed. When last heard of, he was associated with Lab 99 Web Design.

Wise Sayings

Jeremy Bojczuk has uttered several wise sayings and pithy bons mots, such as: “If you can’t stand the heat, don’t put all your chickens in one kettle of fish.”

Interests and Hobbies

Jeremy Bojczuk has had interests and hobbies. Like most people’s interests and hobbies, they aren’t of much interest to anyone else.

Personal Details

He is aware that once you place your personal details online, you lose control of them. Every piece of information you place online is stored on computers owned by other people. These other people, mostly acting not as free individuals but instead as the servants of authoritarian social institutions, have the power to retain, delete, copy, alter, combine and share those pieces of information, and in almost every case there is nothing you can do about it. As the saying goes: you can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube.

Nevertheless, the following personal details have been made available, although readers are warned that more than one of them is untrue:

• In 2003, Jeremy Bojczuk was briefly Devon and Cornwall Disco–Dancing Champion, until he was obliged to resign because of a technical infringement, an episode now known to disco–dancing enthusiasts as Medalliongate.
• He has visited the Grand Canyon, or at least has posed in front of a convincing backdrop.
• Jeremy Bojczuk lives on a farm in Wales with his boyfriend, their three labradors, and their pet dragon.
• He has recently been anthologised.
• He once spent four days in a coma.
• For the last few years before his retirement in 1997, Jeremy Bojczuk worked as a lighthouse keeper off the coast of Norway.
• In November 2013 he gave an interview on French television.
• In his spare time, Jeremy Bojczuk enjoys banger racing and playing the lute in an early–music consort.
• He also enjoys amateur dramatics, and recently played the role of Colonel Arbuthnot in the Great Yarmouth Strolling Players’ production of the ever–popular farce, Blimey, Vicar, Where Are Your Trousers?.
• His first job after leaving school in 2005 was as a door–to–door harp salesman.
• Jeremy Bojczuk can occasionally be found on a Saturday evening in the Queen’s Head just off Gray’s Inn Road in London, or a few minutes’ walk away in The Plough on Little Russell Street, near the British Museum.